I just bought a couch, but now I’m in need of a new one.
Thankfully, furniture stores are literally always having a sale (but if everything is always on sale, is it really ever on sale?).
Here’s a really long way of essentially saying, “I’m looking for a new couch.” Also, I like were IKEA’s head is at.
Steve-O from Jackass stopped by Good Day while Steve-O continues his Bucket List Tour. I could’ve chatted with this guy for hours, but we unfortunately only had about 4 minutes. Incredibly nice man. Check out his tour if you can!
It’s been a few years since I did a little tip segment for Earth Day. Practical tips on how you can help the Earth.
The last edition of “Earth Day, Every Day – TIPS!” happened a few years ago. In case you missed it:
So, I figured it was time to get an updated version out there. However, I didn’t have the funding of Tom Hanks (watch the above video for that reference) this time, and only realized it was Earth Day just 90 minutes before I had to go on-air, but I managed to put together these useful tips for you and how you can positively impact the planet right now! Enjoy! Happy Earth Day, everyone!
Long story short: Keanu Reeves is one of the greatest human beings on the planet.
Short story long: Mr. Reeves was recently on a flight from San Francisco to L.A. when the plane had to make an emergency landing in Bakersfield, CA.
Rather than just rent a fancy car for himself and take the 2-hour drive alone, Reeves helped organize a road-trip with his fellow stranded passengers and bonded with them on the trip through the power of trivia, music, bananas, Gatorade and eventually, Carl’s Jr.
And the man who shot the video on Instagram wanted to follow Keanu’s well-known philanthropic endeavors and asked anyone who might have seen this video to consider donating to a charity. He even listed a few of his favorites:
http://www.sickkidsfoundation.com
http://www.standuptocancer.org
http://www.scorefund.org
http://www.wildlifewaystation.org
http://www.coachart.org/get-involved
http://www.coachart.org
http://www.stjude.org
http://www.cityofhope.org/giving
If you’re reading this locally, I recommend the Spokane Humane Society.
A little 7-year-old girl reminded me that my dad bod is coming along nicely.
It was a cold, calculated attack. And the worst part? She’s right.
Watch what I’m talking about here:
A guy named Nick from Canada recently shared a story on Facebook about how he had been banned from a hotel due to an incident that involved seagulls and a suitcase full of pepperoni.
It happened in 2001, which means there’s no viral video that goes with it for me to share. However, as I do in any situation like this, I improvised and brought back a Coffee With Cory orignal segment: Crayon News.
Enjoy!
And if you just want to see the tale told through awesome crayon drawings I did without any context… here you go!
New Zealand seems like a lovely country that pretty much keeps to itself. Sounds great. I know very little about the country. I’m going to admit that first and foremost.
Things I (think I) know about New Zealand:
That’s it.
However, this week I learned they also take the theft of Alpacas very seriously. We have some serious issues here in America that we are focused on, and unfortunately, alpaca theft is a little low on the list of things we are looking to solve.
In New Zealand, however, they take alpaca theft very seriously.
The North Shore, Rodney West Aukland Police Department has detectives working in shifts (probably) to find out who stole Charisma the Alpaca from a paddock.
“Come on, people. We need to find this alpaca,” an officer gently pleads on a video the department posted to their Facebook page that I found way too hilarious. “For the sake of the family, and for the sake of this little guy,” the same officer concluded while petting another alpaca.
Oh, I didn’t tell you about that alpaca? Charisma, the stolen alpaca, acted as a seeing-eye alpaca for his alpaca brother, Bambi, who is blind!
And since the theft of Charisma, Bambi has been depressed and unable to navigate his enclosed field without his brother!
There isn’t a whole lot we can do here in America to help, unfortunately. We all know the international alpaca trafficking network knows no borders, so you can certainly keep an eye out for anyone selling an alpaca from New Zealand.
How do you know if an alpaca is from New Zealand? The alpaca’s accent, of course.
Good luck to the North Shore, Rodney West Aukland Police Department in their search for Charisma! If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know. Alpaca my bags and head right down!
There’s a Dutch company looking to put Crows to work. I say, “Why Not?… but why stop there?” Crows are extremely intelligent and if they’ll work so cheap, let’s get them doing more things for us!
This is a great idea by CrowdedCities.com, and a great start. And while cleaning our planet is a noble cause, I feel like we can get these crows doing other things for us.
But mostly, this is just a pitch to get my sitcom “Crow Cops” green-lit by someone. Any takers? Contact me for more.
For now, here’s more info on what this company is doing and how I think we can expand.
While putting together a Winter Weather Special for the station, one of our Executive Producers came up to me and asked if I’d do a piece on submitting the best pictures for TV and social media.
I don’t know? I’m no photography expert, but I do see A LOT of viewer pictures when the snow begins to fly (usually of patio furniture).
So I reluctantly forged ahead and put together this infomercial on how to take the best pictures for TV.
Enjoy.
Yeah. Spokane is smoky right now. I get that. It’s horrible. It’s not fun.
But I’ve already solved that problem with Cory’s Clean Air in a Jar!
We have more important things to worry about right now: A war.
Not a war with North Korea. A war that rages on every year around this time.
*Lights up a cigarette and slowly takes a drag…*
A war with the Hobo Spiders.
The other night, I’m watching some television and my trusty bloodhound, Georgia, is on the floor when suddenly, she jumps up like she’s just been shocked with a cattle prod and runs across the room, seemingly chasing something.
It freaked me out, but then I see her start to bat at and play with something. What was it?
I walked over there and see she’s playing with a no good, dirty rotten, worthless, creepy crawly, overly aggressive, serving absolutely no function or purpose on this earth other than to give me nightmares, stupid, jerk hobo spider!
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love all living creatures on this beautiful planet with a few exceptions, hobo spiders being one of them.
Other spiders, I’m OK with. I’ve adopted a “you stay away from me and out of sight, then I saw live and let live.”
These hobo spiders, however, they don’t even make an attempt to co-exist! They come in your house, uninvited, and make themselves at home while they look for a mate to make other worthless spiders with.
They’ll even actively seek you out and pick a fight.
In my youth, I would’ve been a little less worried about this, but I have a wife and a new child to protect.
So I laid some traps for these monsters around my house, using things I know hobo spiders like in an effort to bait them into certain death.
For instance, in this trap, I’ve cleverly disguised it at a music venue, featuring the kind of music something that sucks as bad as a hobo spider probably likes:
So far, they’ve avoided this one. Even hobo spiders have better taste in music than my friend Nichole Mischke.
This trap I disguised as a restaurant featuring “Uh-oh Spaghetti-Os Saturdays,” because
who doesn’t like Spaghetti-Os? Hobo spiders apparently. Empty.
I also tried a sports bar featuring the expensive NFL Sunday Ticket from DirecTV.
I might have jumped the gun on this one because obviously the season hasn’t started yet, so the hobos know this one is a fake. I’ll let you know how it does after this Sunday.
But there’s one trap, one establishment that seems to be having success, and it makes sense because hobo spiders are free-loading cheapskates: Free beer.
Look at that! There’s two of them in there! Two of them who walked in and expected to get something for nothing, and instead they got got!
Here are all of the traps I’ve tried:
Cory Howard 