WATCH: The greatest trick ever performed at a high school talent show

If you’ve been to one high school Talent Show, you’ve been to them all, right? (Pro-Tip: It is advisable to stop going to High School talent shows after you graduate high school. Apparently, it’s “weird” when a 33-year-old man shows up to one.)

Tap dancing, free-style rapping, bad comedy, and a full reenactment of the Friends episode where they make a long stick to poke ugly naked guy. And those were just the things I did for my talent shows. Pretty lame.

Mike Senatore from Ardrey Kell High School in Charlotte is not lame however and performed possibly the greatest talent show trick in the history of mankind. That is not an exaggeration.

With dramatic music blaring, Senatore worked the crowd with a special walk up introduction full of the swagger you’d only expect to see from Mick Jagger on a good night in his prime. Then suddenly… the music stopped. Mike stood straight up, gazed over the eagerly waiting crowd and tossed his water bottle in the air.

The oxygen in the room was sucked completely out just for a moment as every one gasped for a split second. The bottle flipped in air, seemingly in slow-motion before sticking a perfect landing that would’ve turned MacKayla Maroney’s smirk into a full blown look of shock and awe and single-handily healed Kerri Strug’s broken ankle the instant it hit the landing. A perfect 10.

This was not lost on the crowd. They lost their minds. They lost their minds the same way you would lose your mind if Ed McMahon showed up on your doorstep today and said you had just won $30 million dollars from the Publisher’s Clearing House. You’d be freaking out about the money, but you’d also be freaking out because Ed McMahon has been dead since 2009.

While the crowd collectively went wild, Mike simply raised his fist, lowered his head, and walked off the stage, knowing he had just performed the greatest talent show trick ever witnessed by any one in the history of our solar system, possibly the universe.

Today we spell “Hero”, S-E-N-A-T-O-R-E.

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A letter from “Not Travolta”

UPDATE, 5/6/16 – Not Travolta wrote me back and simply said, “dear god.”

See why here:

16 months ago (Yes. 16 months. January 2015) I wrote an article about a dog that resembled Sir John Travolta (he’s been knighted, right?). Everyone wrote this article. I honestly saw the resemblance. 16 months later. May 5, 2016, I received either the dumbest or most genius email response to the article. I’m not sure which.

This person created an email account specifically to respond to this article. “thatdogdoesnotlookliketravolta@(insert domain here)” They were that passionate about it. They go by the name “Not Travolta.” Real or fake? We may never know.

They argued that I was spreading lies on the internet. They accused me of being misleading. Perhaps this person is real. Perhaps they are fake. Perhaps I’m getting my karma for all of those time I sent people fake emails from fake people. Either way. I had a good chuckle about it.

Here is their email to me followed by my response:

“Dear Mr. Howard,

I read your article and I found it horribly misleading. How dare you put lies on the internet. That dog looks absolutely nothing like John Travolta. There is absolutely no resemblance whatsoever. Enclosed I have sent several pictures of dogs that actually look like humans, so that you will have some reference before you consider publishing another ill though-out article.

I understand that it is your opinion, but you are wrong.

Sincerely, 

Not John Travolta”

2345

MY RESPONSE:

“Dear Not Travolta,

First of all, how absolutely coincidental that your name is Not Travolta! That’s cool! Who better of an authority to decide what does and doesn’t look like John Travolta than “Not Travolta”!

The last thing I want to do is spread scandalous lies across the internet, especially when it comes to such important matters as a mutt looking like Tony Manero. To be clear, and in hindsight I should’ve specified, but I believe the dog looks like Travolta only in certain movies. “Swordfish”, “Hairspray” and of course “Look Who’s Talking Too” (John was too skinny in “Look Who’s Talking” part 1 to be considered).

I am honored that you’ve taken the time to create an gmail account specifically and solely for the purpose of addressing this issue. But perhaps I am giving myself too much credit. Perhaps you use thatdogdoesnotlookliketravolta@gmail.com to send out kind clarification emails like the one I received to everyone who expresses their opinion on the resemblance between the star of “Look Who’s Talking Too” and pit bull mixes. Either way, again, I am humbled to be in the presence of your expertise.

I also appreciate you sending me examples of people you do think look like dogs. However, after careful review of your submissions, understanding completely that they are your opinions, I have unfortunately come to the conclusion that you are wrong as well.

1.) In you first example, the dog doesn’t even have a head of hair! It’s also missing Peyton’s trademark helmet head red spot. Plus Peyton probably weighs (an estimated) 220 pounds more than that dog. Plus the dog isn’t even wearing a football uniform! Due to these facts, I’m afraid your opinion is wrong.

2.) Your second example (the brown dog with the “petfinder.com” watermark) doesn’t even have a human to compare it to. Is it supposed to be Peyton or Buscemi? Because it fails to meet any resemblance of both. If there was an opinion here, it also is wrong.

3.) Buscemi and the white dog. Where to start on this one? The dog’s brown ears and white center between them would indicate a horseshoe balding pattern on Mr. Buscemi if there was to be ANY resemblance considered. Also the brown around his mouth should be mirrored by a goatee on Steve. That also is not there. Lastly, the dog’s eyes are perfectly normal and do not bear any hint of resemblance to Steve Buscemi’s trademark eyes. Again, I’m sorry but your opinion is wrong.

4.) Finally, Cher. I will give you the hair. The hair appears to be spot on. But that is where the resemblance train stops, and then ultimately derails. The dog is smiling, while Cher is giving her patented “I’m Cher and don’t give a damn” mirk. Plus, I’ve seen Cher sing before and her bottom teeth look nothing like that canine’s lower (and presumably upper) incisors. But what ultimately destroys your argument is that I am certain that dog has never had any plastic surgery. That is definitely its original nose, whereas, we all know, that is probably Cher’s 4th or 5th nose. Again, your opinion, I’m sorry to say, is wrong.

Again, I thank you so much for reaching out and expressing your opinions, however wrong they may be. It means a lot to me. Good luck on all of your future human/dog lookalike endeavors.

Yours truly,

 

Cory Howard.”

Whoever “Not Travolta” is, thank you for the laugh. Intentional or not.