New Emojis Coming in 2019 and a 1993’s ‘Cliffhanger’

Hard to believe, but 230 new emojis will be released in 2019.

Some are better than others. This year’s batch includes emojis for the blind and deaf communities, as well as those with disabilities.

There are cute, cuddly animals getting emojis and there are new pictures of delicious foods you’ll be able to send to your friends when they ask what you feel like eating.

Check out the entire list of new emojis coming in 2019 HERE:

There were two specific emojis that caught my eye in that batch. One of them will obviously not be used for it’s intended purpose. Ever.

And another one led me down a rabbit hole of revisiting one of the great movies of the 1990s, which led to another startling revelation. Watch here:

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I won free hamburgers from Wendy’s and HQ!

I like to joke a lot. But this is totally serious: I won free hamburgers. For life.

I still have no idea what this means, as I’m waiting on information from Wendy’s and HQ Trivia, but essentially, I didn’t want to watch that awful halftime show of Super Bowl LIII, so I played bacon-themed trivia on the HQ app.

Not only did I answer all twelve questions right (OK, I used an extra life) and won $2.98, but I was ultimately selected to win FREE HAMBURGERS FOR LIFE FROM WENDY’S!

From now on, all my debts will be paid… in hamburgers.

Here’s how it played out and here’s what I plan to do with it.

 

 

Cocktail and Road House: The Same Universe?

While watching Road House this past weekend (as I do most weekends), I couldn’t help but rekindle a thought that has plagued me for years: Road House and Cocktail occur in the same universe.

Much like Marvel and DC characters occupy the same world, I believe the ’80s icons Road House and Cocktail also take place within the same world.

Both movies have A-list actors at the front of a ridiculous plot with gratuitous violence and sex. And let’s not forget the amazing, yet dated soundtracks. Hell, they even have the same poster:

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Both movies carry-out their plotlines with the drama of a Shakespearean play, yet at their core are really just about a cocky, little fish bartender finding his way in the big pond of New York City and a philosophical cooler/bouncer maintaining order at an outhouse of a bar in Small Town, USA.

I propose that at some point in cinematic time, these two titans clashed. This is what Hollywood should’ve been focusing on, not Critters 3 (although where would Leonardo DiCaprio be today without Critters 3?).A crossover feature of Cocktail and Road House. Cock House. No, that’s not a good idea. Road Tail. No. Ok, we’ll work on the title later.

But think about it. At the beginning of Road House, we find Patrick Swayze in some New York-style bar. It very well could’ve been the bar that Tom Cruise visited when he brought Bryan Brown that bottle of whiskey to settle a bet in the Bahama’s that he couldn’t bed a rich chick.

Bryan Flanagan could’ve walked right by Dalton as he was breaking up a fight between two guys openly doing cocaine on a glass table while some unknown band rocked out with key-tars and loose-fitting vests to a crowd that actually filled a dance-floor for hours. The ’80s seemed like a great time for bar bands, as is evidenced by both Cocktail and Road House. As someone that plays in a bar band in 2019, this just isn’t the case anymore. Dance, people!

The only difference I can come up with:

  • Dudes are driving around a Monster Truck in Road House. How is this legal? They are literally driving it around like it’s a Honda Accord! I understand it’s a corrupt town, but a Monster Truck is a bit egregious, right? They did use it for it’s intended purpose when they destroyed a car dealership with it, but they also just drove it to the Double Deuce on a random Thursday night just to sit in it and spy on Dalton necking with Brad Wesley’s ex. Not very subtle. And the gas mileage! Think of the gas mileage! Even Cocktail didn’t get that absurd. Other than that, they’re pretty much the same.

The similarities:

  • Both movies feature cliche, yet riveting dialogue that somehow makes Weekend at Bernie’s feel like Hamlet, but still leaves you with a grin on your attentive face as you hang on every word.
  • Both movies highlight (glorify?) the excess culture of the 1980s.
  • Both movies are cult classics
  • As previously mentioned, both movies seem to show bar bands at their peak.
  • Both movies feature the talented, beautiful, iconic Kelly Lynch.

Ahhh, there you go. Kelly Lynch is the “Lynchpin” (HA!) in all of this.

Could these movies co-exist? I think that’s obvious, but only one person could confirm it. Unfortunately, we lost Patrick Swayze way too early and Tom Cruise doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would confirm something that he did 30 years ago. But I’ve always admired Kelly Lynch and knew she could help me out with this.

So I tweeted her.

Not only did Kelly Lynch respond, but she built upon this theory that the two movies happen in the same world when she suggested that her 1989 film Drugstore Cowboy could also live within this insane world of jail-themed bars with amateur poetry and ripping dude’s throats out after they try and kill an old man by literally blowing up his house because they have a vendetta against the philosophy major who lives in the barn and kind of reminds him of guys with whom he used to have intimate relationships in prison.

The point is… Kelly Lynch! Kelly Lynch is on board with this. And so are others. Or at least one other guy.

Sam Adams, the guy who tweeted out a video of WSU Head Coach Mike Leach blowing on his hot coffee, also agrees with me:

The rough draft plot would feature Kelly Lynch’s character and Dalton (Doc and Dalton) heading back to NYC after the events of Road House. Dalton just couldn’t take living in a town where he already killed so many people. Memphis was not an option, we already know that (too much blood in that town, too). So they went back to NYC where for some reason, Kelly Lynch’s character left Dalton, who no longer was a functioning member of society after ripping out so many throats, for Bryan Brown’s character.

We all know what happened to Bryan Brown’s character. Unable to cope with this latest failed relationship, Kelly Lynch’s character heads for the west coast (Portland) where we pick up with Drugstore Cowboy.

That’s your rough draft timeline. It focuses on Kelly Lynch’s character more than anyone else. Again, because Mr. Swayze can’t reprise his role and there’s no hope for Tom Cruise reprising his. but come on, tying three movies together with the Lynchpin herself! What Hollywood executive dares not to green-light this!

Let me know.

2019 Golden Globes Fashion Review

I know two things: Fashion and drawing. And I’m totally awesome at both.

So when absolutely no one asked me to give my “2019 Golden Globes Best Dressed” list, i pounced at the opportunity to show off my natural talent for putting clothes on and drawing.

You see, airing pictures photographers take on the red carpet costs money. A lot of money. I don’t have that money. So I have to improvise. Here are my best-dressed winners for the 2019 Golden Globes.

(Shoutout to the Fiji Water Girl for always photobombing the celebrities. I couldn’t even get her out of my drawings!)

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If you don’t like looking at pictures and prefer your medium to be video, watch this:

Politics and Text messages

I have mixed feelings on political season. Mostly because there doesn’t appear to be a season anymore. They all just run together. Like how The Bachelor has been on TV for 16 years but they are inexplicably in their 87th season.

As the 2018 political season ends, it won’t be long until we start seeing campaigning for 2020.

In Canada, their election campaign length is 78 days.

In Japan, it’s 12. By law. Only 12 days compared to the hundreds of campaign days here.

Non-stop ads and this year, something different: Annoying texts messages. From both sides of the aisle. So I responded to them in the only way I know how.

I never heard back.

So now that the election is over, here you go! My responses to just two of the MANY texts I received.

First up: A text received from a Democratic candidate and my response:123

Next, as I am not biased in my trolling of either party, a response to a Republican candidate:

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FAT BEAR WEEK in Katmai National Park

For the past week, Katmai National Park in Alaska has been holding their annual “Fat Bear Week.” It was new to me this year, but I’m hooked.

I’ve had the privilege of visiting Katmai National Park and seeing the bears feast at Brooks Falls and it was truly something to behold.

And now there’s a tournament where the people vote for which bear is the fattest? It’s basically the most important election of 2018. Count me in!

There were a lot of Fat Bears this year, but ultimately it came down to these two behemoths.

BEAD NOSE VS 747

Beadnose (left) vs. Bear 747 (right) in a gigantic finale to find the fattest bear in Katmai National Park

Although I feel like the camera angles help, Beadnose in this matchup (she’s sort of squatted down which pushes her fat up), ultimately Beadnose took the championship this year.

But all of the bears gave their best effort to get fat and I wanted to honor them. So I emailed Sir Elton John to ask if he’d do me the honor of singing a tribute song I wrote for the fat bears of Katmai National Park.  I never heard back.

I did hear back from an out-of-work, off-key and out of time Elton John impersonator named Kyle I found on Craigslist. Here’s the touching tribute to these magnificent beasts. Congrats, Beadnose!

Cory’s Reviews: Mt. Rainier AirBnB Cabin

Last week, I posted my review of an AirBnB my family stayed at during the week of July 4th, 2018 at the Oregon Coast. 

Essentially, when you stay at these places, these homes that people open up to you for a lot of money, there’s usually a little book in that house that all of the guests will sign. They are usually short and sweet. But when I stay at a place, I like to make the read worthwhile. At least to me. If I can make myself laugh, then it was time well spent. If I can make you laugh, then mission accomplished. Posting them here is just a convenient way for me to archive them so that when I’m gone, my kids and grandkids can look back at them and say, “Wow, dad was an idiot.” 

But I can’t see the reactions of the homeowners or other guests. I can see your reactions, so if you like it, let me know, tell your friends, read them to your child as a bedtime story. 

This review comes after my family stayed at a cabin near Mt. Rainier for our 4th anniversary. It was a nice place. Quaint. It had a hot tub (referenced as “the giant cup of water” below) and was dog-friendly. But there was one feature I noticed right away. It stole the show. 

Hope you enjoy! 

9/19 – 9/21

My wife booked this place for our 4th or 5th anniversary. I can’t remember how long it’s been. But anyway, in the however many years we’ve been together, she knows that if I’m gonna leave the house for a vacation, the place we’re going to better have enough hooks to hang my stuff on. We once went to a place on the Oregon Coast and there were 12 hooks in the whole house! I had to pick 12 things to hang up and we wasted our entire vacation picking out those 12 things! Didn’t even see the ocean! Still have never seen it 😦

Anyway, she assured me this cabin would have plenty of hooks and… SHE WAS RIGHT! I was skeptical. She’s like to me before. Like when she said I couldn’t use our Yankee Candle as deodorant. Well, then why do I smell like a Christmas Wreath?! But yeah, HOOKS GALORE! 

I spotted 20 hooks just after stepping through the door! I went to the kitchen… more hooks! I went to the hallway… more hooks! The bedrooms: hooks! The bathroom: Hooks! Out on the deck by the giant cup of water: hooks! 

(Side note: I enjoyed the fact that the giant cup of water was already warm. It made for some quick spaghetti and tea, but it tasted kinda funny. I’d recommend just drinking water out of the faucet.) 

Back to the hooks! There wasn’t anything these hooks couldn’t handle! Shirts, pants, hats, dog leashes, car keys, super-soakers, hair bands, DVD AND VHS copies of Speed 2: Cruise Control (I never take a chance. Always bring both. You never know if a place will have a DVD player, but not a VHS player or vice versa.) And what am I going to do? NOT watch Sandra Bullock and Jason Patric try to stop an out of control cruise ship on my vacation in multiple formats? It’s a superior film to the original. But when I wasn’t watching the VHS version I took comfort knowing it was securely waiting for me on the hooks by the door. 

Try and find enough things to hang on all the hooks in this house! So many hooks! What a fantastic surprise for our anniversary!!!

Let’s see… what else can I tell you about this place besides the abundance of hooks? 

My son really enjoyed the purple ice cream scoop in the 2nd drawer by the over. He never scooped any ice cream with it, but he would hold it and scream “ga ba doo doo ba doo!” This kept him entertained for hours. I’m not even sure he got to enjoy all of the hooks because he was so busy with the purple ice cream scooper. 

I’m fairly certain the squirrel picture on the wall by the dining table (next to the hooks on the fireplace) is haunted. Not sure if it’s good or bad, but our dog sat and stared at that thing for hours, sometimes while whining, sometimes while slightly growling. The squirrel ghost never bothered us, but it kept our bloodhound busy the entire time. 

We were a little disappointed the CD player in the boombox didn’t work. Thankfully, I have the Speed 2 soundtrack downloaded on my phone and brought my bluetooth speaker. 

The stools next to the microwave were great! We set our diaper bag on one of them and it held it the entire two days we were here!

All in all, we loved staying here and will definitely come back! I won’t even need to bring my portable hooks! From the bottom of my heart, thank you for the wonderful place to stay and for 100% making my anniversary with your plethora of hooks! 

Also, one more thing. 

While purchasing some bird seed to make our anniversary dinner, the nice lady at the general store in Ashford told me there’s apparently a nice park call “Mt. Rainier” close to here. She didn’t know if they had a slide and swings, but it sounded nice. We might check that out next time. If you’re looking for something non-hook related to do (why would you?) go ask the lady in the general store about it. She should be able to give you directions. 

Thanks again!

The Howards! Cory, Heather, HHH and Georgia – Spokane, WA

If you enjoyed, let me know. If you hated it, let me know. Head over to my Facebook page!

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