‘Corn Dog Down!’ -The Life Of A Dad

A trip to the Spokane County Interstate Fair ended in tragedy for me recently when I entrusted the safety of my precious corn dog in the hands of my 2-year-old son.

What happened was 100% my fault, but quickly reminded me of my place in the pecking order of my family. However, it totally felt worth it to reenact the events of that day.

Take a look:

The Value Of Buying A Haunted House

Look, the real estate market right now is pretty cut-throat. My wife and I put an offer in on a house earlier this year and despite some very lucrative incentives, our offer was rejected (though did garner some interest from Bill Belichick. See YouTube video below).

It’s so competitive, I’d recommend not overlooking the value of buying a haunted house. Yeah, you have to put up with a few little problems (nightmares, demons, inexplicable scratches covering your arms, full-on possession), but when compared to paying the inflated prices of today’s market, there’s a lot of value to be found in a haunted house.

And I think I found the perfect one:

Lethal Weapon: With Babies

I took a few weeks off to welcome my new twin boys to my family!

My first son already came pre-loaded with a tribute to Bruce Willis with Hudson Hawk and a nod to the WWE’s Triple H with his full name being Hudson Hawk Howard. So I knew my twin boys needed equally awesome names to keep pace with HHH.

And after a lot of convincing to my wife, I think I nailed it with gracing them with names honoring one of the greatest duos in movie history.

Take a look:

Couch Shopping

I just bought a couch, but now I’m in need of a new one.

Thankfully, furniture stores are literally always having a sale (but if everything is always on sale, is it really ever on sale?).

Here’s a really long way of essentially saying, “I’m looking for a new couch.” Also, I like were IKEA’s head is at.

Practical and totally useful 2019 Earth Day Tips

It’s been a few years since I did a little tip segment for Earth Day. Practical tips on how you can help the Earth.

The last edition of “Earth Day, Every Day – TIPS!” happened a few years ago. In case you missed it:

So, I figured it was time to get an updated version out there. However, I didn’t have the funding of Tom Hanks (watch the above video for that reference) this time, and only realized it was Earth Day just 90 minutes before I had to go on-air, but I managed to put together these useful tips for you and how you can positively impact the planet right now! Enjoy! Happy Earth Day, everyone!

From Iron Man to Iron Dad (Bod)

A little 7-year-old girl reminded me that my dad bod is coming along nicely.

It was a cold, calculated attack. And the worst part? She’s right.

Watch what I’m talking about here:

I set my own World Record. Eat it, Harvey.

As a kid, the Guinness Book of World Records was my jam. The 1991 version, before they sold out. They didn’t actually sell out. That just sounded cool to say.

As a kid, setting a record seemed like a huge deal. As an adult, it’s easy to see it’s just a matter of following a formula:

Take something normal + Doing something with it abnormal an absurd amount of times or for an extended period of time + be the first to do it = World Record Holder.

Or you could just be born with a specific genetic disposition. Be really tall. Be really overweight. Be really small. Don’t ever clip your fingernails and be really old. Eventually, you’ll break that record.

If you aren’t fortunate to be 743 pounds with the ability to ride a motorcycle, just follow the formula. Like I did on Good Day when I became the first person in history to balance a Godzilla figurine who was wearing a tuxedo on my head while holding an 8″x10″ photo of one of my heroes, Kurt Russell, while telling viewers about other people setting records.

I’m not exactly sure how long I went for, but I definitely set a record. Check it out.

*”Eat it, Harvey” is a tribute to the great newsman Richard Thornburg, who famously told his anchor Harvey to “Eat it” while begging for a news truck to go check out the situation at Nakatomi just seconds before Harvey went on air. I feel that balancing a Godzilla figurine on my head while holding a photo of Kurt Russell in an attempt to set a world record embodies the spirit of Thornburg. Thank you.

cory godzilla

Also, show this picture during my funeral slideshow. Whenever that may be. Without context.

Interview with Comedy Greats Horatio Sanz and John Michael Higgins

Two guys who have been making me laugh for years and years agreed to (kinda) lend me a few minutes of their time this morning to give me a “I’m not worthy” moment… and of course talk about the season two premiere of their show on NBC, Great News.

After the interview was over, I heard Horatio say “I like that guy… he did his homework,” and John say “And he actually enjoys our work, the poor son of a bitch.”

Such an honor.