‘Corn Dog Down!’ -The Life Of A Dad

A trip to the Spokane County Interstate Fair ended in tragedy for me recently when I entrusted the safety of my precious corn dog in the hands of my 2-year-old son.

What happened was 100% my fault, but quickly reminded me of my place in the pecking order of my family. However, it totally felt worth it to reenact the events of that day.

Take a look:

The Value Of Buying A Haunted House

Look, the real estate market right now is pretty cut-throat. My wife and I put an offer in on a house earlier this year and despite some very lucrative incentives, our offer was rejected (though did garner some interest from Bill Belichick. See YouTube video below).

It’s so competitive, I’d recommend not overlooking the value of buying a haunted house. Yeah, you have to put up with a few little problems (nightmares, demons, inexplicable scratches covering your arms, full-on possession), but when compared to paying the inflated prices of today’s market, there’s a lot of value to be found in a haunted house.

And I think I found the perfect one:

Driving Around in a Circle = Tornadoes

I can’t tell you how many… ahem… strange phone calls I’ve answered in the past nine years of working in the broadcasting business, but let’s just say it’s been enough to fill a book or two (Hmmmm… maybe soon).

A new station in Scranton, PA has a segment where they air viewer phone calls and after a few tornadoes popping up in the area recently, one viewer claimed to know exactly why.

Driving around in a circle = tornadoes.

Makes sense.

Take a look:

Couch Shopping

I just bought a couch, but now I’m in need of a new one.

Thankfully, furniture stores are literally always having a sale (but if everything is always on sale, is it really ever on sale?).

Here’s a really long way of essentially saying, “I’m looking for a new couch.” Also, I like were IKEA’s head is at.

Practical and totally useful 2019 Earth Day Tips

It’s been a few years since I did a little tip segment for Earth Day. Practical tips on how you can help the Earth.

The last edition of “Earth Day, Every Day – TIPS!” happened a few years ago. In case you missed it:

So, I figured it was time to get an updated version out there. However, I didn’t have the funding of Tom Hanks (watch the above video for that reference) this time, and only realized it was Earth Day just 90 minutes before I had to go on-air, but I managed to put together these useful tips for you and how you can positively impact the planet right now! Enjoy! Happy Earth Day, everyone!

Keanu Reeves: The Greatest Man on the Planet? Most Definitely.

Long story short: Keanu Reeves is one of the greatest human beings on the planet.

Short story long: Mr. Reeves was recently on a flight from San Francisco to L.A. when the plane had to make an emergency landing in Bakersfield, CA.

Rather than just rent a fancy car for himself and take the 2-hour drive alone, Reeves helped organize a road-trip with his fellow stranded passengers and bonded with them on the trip through the power of trivia, music, bananas, Gatorade and eventually, Carl’s Jr.

Watch the tale here:

And the man who shot the video on Instagram wanted to follow Keanu’s well-known philanthropic endeavors and asked anyone who might have seen this video to consider donating to a charity. He even listed a few of his favorites:

http://www.sickkidsfoundation.com
http://www.standuptocancer.org
http://www.scorefund.org
http://www.wildlifewaystation.org
http://www.coachart.org/get-involved
http://www.coachart.org
http://www.stjude.org
http://www.cityofhope.org/giving

If you’re reading this locally, I recommend the Spokane Humane Society.

From Iron Man to Iron Dad (Bod)

A little 7-year-old girl reminded me that my dad bod is coming along nicely.

It was a cold, calculated attack. And the worst part? She’s right.

Watch what I’m talking about here:

Seagulls and Pepperoni: A Tale as Old As Time

A guy named Nick from Canada recently shared a story on Facebook about how he had been banned from a hotel due to an incident that involved seagulls and a suitcase full of pepperoni.

It happened in 2001, which means there’s no viral video that goes with it for me to share. However, as I do in any situation like this, I improvised and brought back a Coffee With Cory orignal segment: Crayon News.

Enjoy!

And if you just want to see the tale told through awesome crayon drawings I did without any context… here you go!

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Alpaca, who serves as seeing-eye alpaca for his blind brother, stolen in New Zealand

New Zealand seems like a lovely country that pretty much keeps to itself. Sounds great. I know very little about the country. I’m going to admit that first and foremost.

Things I (think I) know about New Zealand:

  • I know it’s next to Australia and New Zealanders hate being called Australian.
  • I know for some reason New Zealanders are referred to as Kiwis. Is it a derogatory term? I’m not sure. If it is, I’m sorry. Wikipedia says it’s a source of pride, New Zealand Geographic says it’s offensive. I don’t know.
  • I also know Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement, the Flight of the Conchords, are from there.
  • I’m 87% sure the Lord of the Rings movies were filmed there. I’ve never seen them. I don’t know. Some guy told me that once.
  • It’s impossible to paddle to New Zealand from Bells Beach, Australia. At least during the 50-year storm.

That’s it.

However, this week I learned they also take the theft of Alpacas very seriously. We have some serious issues here in America that we are focused on, and unfortunately, alpaca theft is a little low on the list of things we are looking to solve.

In New Zealand, however, they take alpaca theft very seriously.

 

The North Shore, Rodney West Aukland Police Department has detectives working in shifts (probably) to find out who stole Charisma the Alpaca from a paddock.

“Come on, people. We need to find this alpaca,” an officer gently pleads on a video the department posted to their Facebook page that I found way too hilarious. “For the sake of the family, and for the sake of this little guy,” the same officer concluded while petting another alpaca.

Oh, I didn’t tell you about that alpaca? Charisma, the stolen alpaca, acted as a seeing-eye alpaca for his alpaca brother, Bambi, who is blind!

And since the theft of Charisma, Bambi has been depressed and unable to navigate his enclosed field without his brother!

There isn’t a whole lot we can do here in America to help, unfortunately. We all know the international alpaca trafficking network knows no borders, so you can certainly keep an eye out for anyone selling an alpaca from New Zealand.

How do you know if an alpaca is from New Zealand? The alpaca’s accent, of course.

Good luck to the North Shore, Rodney West Aukland Police Department in their search for Charisma! If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know. Alpaca my bags and head right down!