The Best Mother’s Day Gift: A Free $100 Bill and Blasted On Booze

The best part about being a parent is not the smiles, the unconditional love, the laughs, or even the fact that you get to raise a little piece of you and your significant other to be an upstanding citizen of the world.

No. It’s definitely the endless supply of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and chicken nuggets that fill your house. Your kid only needs 6 chicken nuggets, but you make 18. Just in case. Yeah, your kid can only eat 1/4 of a box of Kraft Mac and Cheese, but you better make 2 boxes, just in case.

The company that has been giving back to deprived dads for so long is now wanting to give back to moms this Mother’s Day.

If you’re looking for that perfect last-minute Mother’s Day gift, here’s all you need to know: Get her a free $100 and blasted on booze. Here’s how. You’re welcome.

 

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Keanu Reeves: The Greatest Man on the Planet? Most Definitely.

Long story short: Keanu Reeves is one of the greatest human beings on the planet.

Short story long: Mr. Reeves was recently on a flight from San Francisco to L.A. when the plane had to make an emergency landing in Bakersfield, CA.

Rather than just rent a fancy car for himself and take the 2-hour drive alone, Reeves helped organize a road-trip with his fellow stranded passengers and bonded with them on the trip through the power of trivia, music, bananas, Gatorade and eventually, Carl’s Jr.

Watch the tale here:

And the man who shot the video on Instagram wanted to follow Keanu’s well-known philanthropic endeavors and asked anyone who might have seen this video to consider donating to a charity. He even listed a few of his favorites:

http://www.sickkidsfoundation.com
http://www.standuptocancer.org
http://www.scorefund.org
http://www.wildlifewaystation.org
http://www.coachart.org/get-involved
http://www.coachart.org
http://www.stjude.org
http://www.cityofhope.org/giving

If you’re reading this locally, I recommend the Spokane Humane Society.

Shrimp Breeding… Who Knew?

I’m always looking to make a quick buck and after several failed business endeavors (see video) I believe I found my cash cow. Or cash shrimp.

I came across a very interesting article from The Star-Tribune on Wednesday about a Minnesota man who is now making a living breeding exotic shrimp after only a few years in the business!

It is now my goal to fulfill this hour-long dream of mine to become the #1 Prawn Broker in the Inland Northwest. WATCH HERE

From Iron Man to Iron Dad (Bod)

A little 7-year-old girl reminded me that my dad bod is coming along nicely.

It was a cold, calculated attack. And the worst part? She’s right.

Watch what I’m talking about here:

Crayon News: Oscars Best-Dressed 2019

I have two passions in life: Fashion and corn dogs.

The two go hand-in-hand when you think about it. A corn dog is just a hot dog with a fancy bread dress.

So while eating corn dogs and watching the Oscars red carpet Sunday night, I made a list of my favorite outfits. However, rights to these photos can be expensive and I don’t have money to use them (I’m eating corn dogs for crying out loud). So I’m forced to improvise.

But necessity is the mother of invention, so I invented Crayon News.

And here’s the latest edition of Coffee With Cory’s Crayon News: Oscars Fashion 2019.

Enjoy!

If you don’t like watching videos, here are photos of my favorite outfits from this year’s Oscars!

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Kicking off the Phone Case Revolution with My New Invention

People have some stupid ideas, but the other day I saw one of the stupidest: A 22-pound dumbbell phone case.

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Yeah. This thing is being sold by a company in Japan and while the dude modeling it looks nice enough (and jacked, surely due solely to his 22-pound weight curls he does while browsing for supplements and looking at Instagram photos of himself in bodybuilding competitions), there’s no way carrying around your phone while it’s attached to a 22-pound dumbbell is in anyway convenient.

But was I missing something here? Was this an opportunity? I decided to go that route and look at it as a way to enter the emerging market of phone cases. That Japanese company sold at least one (maybe).

I bet I could invent a cool and totally useful phone case and sell at least two!

Here’s what I came up with: The Coffee With Cory Colander Phone Case!

 

Seagulls and Pepperoni: A Tale as Old As Time

A guy named Nick from Canada recently shared a story on Facebook about how he had been banned from a hotel due to an incident that involved seagulls and a suitcase full of pepperoni.

It happened in 2001, which means there’s no viral video that goes with it for me to share. However, as I do in any situation like this, I improvised and brought back a Coffee With Cory orignal segment: Crayon News.

Enjoy!

And if you just want to see the tale told through awesome crayon drawings I did without any context… here you go!

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