Driving Around in a Circle = Tornadoes

I can’t tell you how many… ahem… strange phone calls I’ve answered in the past nine years of working in the broadcasting business, but let’s just say it’s been enough to fill a book or two (Hmmmm… maybe soon).

A new station in Scranton, PA has a segment where they air viewer phone calls and after a few tornadoes popping up in the area recently, one viewer claimed to know exactly why.

Driving around in a circle = tornadoes.

Makes sense.

Take a look:

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Couch Shopping

I just bought a couch, but now I’m in need of a new one.

Thankfully, furniture stores are literally always having a sale (but if everything is always on sale, is it really ever on sale?).

Here’s a really long way of essentially saying, “I’m looking for a new couch.” Also, I like were IKEA’s head is at.

The Best Mother’s Day Gift: A Free $100 Bill and Blasted On Booze

The best part about being a parent is not the smiles, the unconditional love, the laughs, or even the fact that you get to raise a little piece of you and your significant other to be an upstanding citizen of the world.

No. It’s definitely the endless supply of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and chicken nuggets that fill your house. Your kid only needs 6 chicken nuggets, but you make 18. Just in case. Yeah, your kid can only eat 1/4 of a box of Kraft Mac and Cheese, but you better make 2 boxes, just in case.

The company that has been giving back to deprived dads for so long is now wanting to give back to moms this Mother’s Day.

If you’re looking for that perfect last-minute Mother’s Day gift, here’s all you need to know: Get her a free $100 and blasted on booze. Here’s how. You’re welcome.

 

Running With The Cory: Tips for Training With A Toddler

It starts out with the best of intentions. You’re watching Letterkenny on your couch in January and there’s 17 feet of snow outside.

After your 7th episode and 2nd bag of Cheetos, the reality of the situation hits you: You need to do something. Not right then and there, but something in the future. Something active.

“Hey, I know. I’ll sign up for a race this Spring. I’ve got four months to train! I can totally do that.”

Fast forward four months later. The race is just days away and you haven’t trained.

No worries. Get yourself a toddler.

If you’re not into watching 6 minute videos, here’s a version that was edited for time to air on TV.

Thanks to my brother Marshall for helping me shoot it. My son for putting up with it. And Van Halen for not getting mad (hopefully) that I used a few seconds of their awesome song.

Happy running, everyone! Love you!

Shrimp are doing cocaine in the rural rivers of the UK

The oceans are incredibly important to life on Earth and it is my belief that we must protect them at all costs. The plastic waste pollution in our planet’s oceans is quite concerning. There’s a giant floating mass of plastic bigger than Texas floating in the Pacific for crying out loud!

However, on Wednesday, I came across the result of an alarming new study released this week from King’s College London in collaboration with the University of Suffolk that says cocaine was found in the system of shrimp caught in rural rivers of Suffolk County.

Of course, it was! We’re polluting their waterways with our Starbucks cups! How else are they supposed to cope?

So, the study didn’t outright say “Shrimp are doing cocaine”, however, am I expected to believe that drug dealers are just dumping enough coke into the rivers of Suffolk County to get shrimp high on coke? You tell me which one is more likely.

If you want to read the entire study, CLICK HERE.

Or, just watch this video and I’ll explain everything, including how we can confront this potential epidemic head-on.

Enjoy stories about shrimp? CLICK HERE for another one!

And if you enjoy pictures relating to animals and cocaine, I drew this a while ago after reading about Pablo Escobar’s hippos running around Mexico.

cocaine hippos

Cocaine Hippos Merchandise Available HERE. 

Practical and totally useful 2019 Earth Day Tips

It’s been a few years since I did a little tip segment for Earth Day. Practical tips on how you can help the Earth.

The last edition of “Earth Day, Every Day – TIPS!” happened a few years ago. In case you missed it:

So, I figured it was time to get an updated version out there. However, I didn’t have the funding of Tom Hanks (watch the above video for that reference) this time, and only realized it was Earth Day just 90 minutes before I had to go on-air, but I managed to put together these useful tips for you and how you can positively impact the planet right now! Enjoy! Happy Earth Day, everyone!