On Friday, don’t ask me how or why (it’s not important), I came across of photo of an extremely pregnant ferret.
To be honest, at first I only saw the lower half and thought I had stumbled onto something completely different.
My sister is a veterinarian in Ellensburg, Washington and I saw it as a perfect opportunity to have some fun with her.
So using a small, and barely significant plot point from the classic movie Kindergarten Cop, I went to her work’s Facebook page, Ellensburg Animal Hospital, and posted the following:
“Dr. Taylor, this is my ferret, Marvin. I usually take him to my kindergarten class (I’m totally not an undercover cop). The kids like to pet him. He doesn’t bite. Last night while I was cleaning my gun and looking through police case folders… I mean, grading papers, he must’ve gotten into my macaroni and cheese meal preps. Every Sunday I make 23 boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese so I have something to take for lunches. Sometimes I add little cut up hot dogs, thankfully this time I did not. I know what a choking hazard those can be for ferrets. While I was cleaning my gun, I mean, looking at the kids’ finger-paintings, he must’ve gotten into the giant pot of macaroni and cheese. I suspect this because I found multiple ferret hairs in what was leftover and he was covered in orange goo. Well, as you can see, Marvin is incredibly fat this morning. Will he pass the mac and cheese or do we need to start talking about surgical intervention? He seems fine otherwise. Just a little slower. And explosive diarrhea. Other than that… business as usual in Ferret world. Thoughts?”
My sister immediately identified my Detective John Kimball story and shared it to the hospital’s main page thinking everyone else would as well.
They didn’t. Well, not everyone got it.
“Oh no,” one person worringly replied.
“Poor Baby,” another concerned person said.
One lady expressed concern for the ferret before immediately turning her attention to my apparent love of mac and cheese.
” I hope he pulls through, but do we need to be concerned with you eating too many helpings of mac n cheese each week? Hahaha.”
“Poor guy, will he be ok?”
Some didn’t get the joke, so it was reposted as a “name that movie” post.
At last check no one got the reference to the awesome Arnold Schwarzenegger classic. The thought that no one understands a Kindergarten Cop reference when they see one concerns me. It… it’s giving me a headache.
It’s not a tumor.
But seriously, if you haven’t seen Kindergarten Cop I’m gonna need to know:
Because he obviously didn’t raise you right.
Go watch Kindergarten Cop. Now.