With All Due Respect Mr. Jones and Batman, But…

You know how you have that one friend?

Let me be more specific, because we all have that “one friend” for most categories in our life.

You know how you have that one friend that always has to one-up you on a story you just told? And most times it either doesn’t compare or is obviously made up?

Well, there’s a little 3-year-old girl living in the world who will always be able to one-up any story ever told and she has the evidence to prove it happened.

She stole the Pope’s hat.

This little girl could be sitting in a group of people with the most fascinating stories ever told, and still be able to outdo any of them.

Indiana Jones: “So after completing the death-defying obstacles that included knowing ‘Jehovah’ was actually spelled with an ‘I’ in Latin, then watching some self-righteous Nazi drink from what obviously wasn’t the cup of a carpenter and disintegrate into a blob of bubbling flesh before his bones smashed into dust because he ‘chose poorly’, I drank from what I believed was the cup of Christ and the knight told me I had chosen wisely. So I raced back to by father who had just been shot and was dying with a cup full of eternal life water (without spilling, mind you), poured on him and instantly healed him and saved his life. It was pretty crazy!”

Batman: “Geez, where to begin. My parents were murdered right in front of me, so I took all of their money and trained to be an elite ninja and saved millions of people on several occasions from would-be villains, all of whom clearly had mental health issues and wanted to destroy not only Gotham, but the world. I even managed to fake my own death by flying an atomic bomb away from the helpless citizens of Gotham, but I secretly fixed the auto-pilot system before I flew it, so yeah… everyone thinks I’m dead so now I’m free to enjoy espresso in European cities with my kleptomaniac girlfriend who thinks she’s a cat.”

Grown Up 3-year-old girl: *Lights up her cigarette and takes a long drag… pauses… and slowly exhales*… “I stole the Pope’s hat once.”

The Collective Room: “You win. Again.”

Only a little girl could get away with it. If I stole the Pope’s hat… I can’t even imagine the fire – literal fire – that would rain down upon me. But a sweet,  little 3-year-old girl does it and everyone thinks it’s adorable. Even the Pope.

The girl’s Godfather posted video of the incident on Twitter and yeah… it’s pretty adorable.

Good job, girl. You’ve got your story. Use it wisely.

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