If you’ve been to one high school Talent Show, you’ve been to them all, right? (Pro-Tip: It is advisable to stop going to High School talent shows after you graduate high school. Apparently, it’s “weird” when a 33-year-old man shows up to one.)
Tap dancing, free-style rapping, bad comedy, and a full reenactment of the Friends episode where they make a long stick to poke ugly naked guy. And those were just the things I did for my talent shows. Pretty lame.
Mike Senatore from Ardrey Kell High School in Charlotte is not lame however and performed possibly the greatest talent show trick in the history of mankind. That is not an exaggeration.
With dramatic music blaring, Senatore worked the crowd with a special walk up introduction full of the swagger you’d only expect to see from Mick Jagger on a good night in his prime. Then suddenly… the music stopped. Mike stood straight up, gazed over the eagerly waiting crowd and tossed his water bottle in the air.
The oxygen in the room was sucked completely out just for a moment as every one gasped for a split second. The bottle flipped in air, seemingly in slow-motion before sticking a perfect landing that would’ve turned MacKayla Maroney’s smirk into a full blown look of shock and awe and single-handily healed Kerri Strug’s broken ankle the instant it hit the landing. A perfect 10.
This was not lost on the crowd. They lost their minds. They lost their minds the same way you would lose your mind if Ed McMahon showed up on your doorstep today and said you had just won $30 million dollars from the Publisher’s Clearing House. You’d be freaking out about the money, but you’d also be freaking out because Ed McMahon has been dead since 2009.
While the crowd collectively went wild, Mike simply raised his fist, lowered his head, and walked off the stage, knowing he had just performed the greatest talent show trick ever witnessed by any one in the history of our solar system, possibly the universe.
Today we spell “Hero”, S-E-N-A-T-O-R-E.