Don’t Eat Pictures of Celebrities – A reenactment

The headline was too good to be true, but it wasn’t.

“Man vows to eat picture of Jason Segel everyday until Segel eats a picture of him”

This is actually happening. A guy named Noah Maloney, of the Toronto Maloneys, is on Day 6 of eating an 8×10 printed photo of Jason Segel everyday. I watched the videos and was captivated/dumbfounded. This was actually happening. And here I was encouraging it by watching him. But I couldn’t look away.

Maloney doesn’t say anything. He simply displays the Segel photo, then proceeds to chomp it up and swallow it down. (Segel has not, and probably will not, respond)

I thought, “I have to do something on this guy.”

About an hour after I watched the video, however, the leeches of the internet had already gotten to him. Maloney’s videos were now licensed to the bottom feeders of the internet who pay folks a small amount of money for the rights to their videos and then proceed to make a bunch of money by suing TV stations and websites that use the video without permission. They’re the ambulance chasers of the internet. Making money off of other people’s creativity (or in this case, insanity) while doing nothing. It’s a great business model and perhaps I’m just sour I didn’t get in on the ground floor.

Having dealt with these scumsuckers before, I knew I couldn’t use the videos. So how could I tell the story? Crayon news is fun, but this required demonstrative action, not just awesome drawings.

And an idea was born.

I don’t need these videos. I can just shoot my own. They don’t own the rights to eating pictures of funny dudes! So with that in mind (and a brighter hope for future segments), I decided reenactment is the only way to go when dealing with these videos I can’t use on-air. So… here’s the first reenactment.

*Don’t eat photos of celebrities. Or anyone for that matter. Don’t eat photos.

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